New and Exciting!

Hey Everyone!

Ok fine I might be a little misleading when I mentioned exciting but new anyways!

It's been a pretty busy few weeks for me. I got to perform at Yuk Yuk's a few times, got alot of writing done and started the Comedy Troupe.

So I did finally get some stage time here in Ottawa, Hey man it's not easy getting on cause I guess there are alot of people aspiring to be Comics. My performances went well, and I was even told that I was the funniest of the night. Gotta love hearing that. Hey feedback is soo necessary in this industry, so when people lined up to come up to me and shake my hand and tell me how much they enjoyed it, then bring it on. Dammit though, why did I choose the only stage/performing career that doesn't get you laid!1 Figures, I would choose the one! But I am keeping it up and look forward to perfoming a whole lot more soon.

The most exciting part for me though is the Comedy troupe that I started. It's been a slow take off, but the interest is there and I was lucky enough to secure some amazing talent. I got everything from trained actors, comedians, writers and average funny Joe's. I took on a partner of sorts, cause he knows all the stuff that I don't. He's a trained Actra(Canadian SAG) Actor. He's been a great help and also directs Video's on the side. I've had issues locking down a great studio for all of us to rehearse, write and perform in but I will find this infamous unicorn type space. We had a great first meeting and actually filmed our first skit this weekend. It's cold as hell out here and it was a beach shoot, that included myself and three bikini clad women, see if you can guess who wrote this one??haha..But yeah it went really well and I can't wait to see the final cut. I'm really hoping that we get alot of these little skits down on film, maybe get into some festivals and then ideally get a monthly live show. All these are within our grasp and it's gonna be so much fun.

Anyways, this is what's going on over here. I'll be moving downtown Ottawa hopefully Dec 1st and look forward to stealing some of it's energy. There's always a little buzz going around in the market, and for some reason I always have a little buzz on when I go the market, so that should work out well.

Hope you are doing what you want to do and keep in touch. Lots of fun stuff coming!

Bob

New Ottawa Project!

Gidday Gidday...

Oh shit I'm already talking like I live in the Bush! Well it's cause I do, so there. For example in the last two days I've seen 4 deer, 178 wild turkeys a super sonic speed squirrel fight( which was pretty amazing), oh and a picture of one the largest moose ever. The good news is the air is nice and clean and for the most part it's calm. I guess I better start going into town more often, cause I might be losing my mind, soon I'll have long hair, be completely unshaven(including back) and I'll be wearing small round purple hippie glasses and a shawl. Very sad!

The Good news is I have been spending alot of time pondering what's next for me. I love writing jokes, sketches and all around stupid shit. And being out here has giving me plenty of opportunity to do so. The problem is that there are very little opportunities for me in Ottawa in terms of stage time. We have two comedy clubs but trying to get a spot on stage is as likely as pulling teeth from a Cub while the Mama bear is standing right beside you. See I'm even making Bush analogies...Oh God! See the problem is I don't have enough money to move back to LA now, so I have to stay in Canada so I can be paid, yo....If I could afford it, I'd be on a plane back to Hollywood but that might have to wait a little while. So then what? Move to Montreal, Toronto or Vancouver? Well Toronto and Vancouver are both crazy expensive and Montreal is full of frenchmen(haha joking), so what to do, what to do? Those are are all options and I have applied for actual jobs in both Toronto and Montreal so that I can afford to stay there and still play in the comedy scene. Both realistic options but ta-da it came to me...I'm going to start my own little thing here.

Ok sure Ottawa is known for being conservative, but fuck that shit. I live here, let's mix it up a bit. So I've decided to start my own little group of funny people. I've recently posted some adds online looking for Comedians, improv actors or writers. Basically just want to get a group of people together so that we can collaborate and think of some whacky stuff. Maybe film a weekly web series, that will include stand up, improv, sketches or even shaving animals. I don't care as long as it resonates with the audience, then great. So the first step is in motion and I have already got a few responses. Hopefully I will get alot of people responding and the move forward with it. I'm also looking for a studio space, so that we can rehearse/film and maybe even have a monthly live show at the studio. It won't be a huge production but maybe 60-90 people in attendance. I hope to have a small raised stage, Green screen and a slightly better than a ghetto blaster audio system. This might take a little time to get to, but shit if it was that easy than every, egomaniac, saddistic, self centered shit head asshole would have done it. So that is where I'm at now. Hopefully I get some good response and we make it happen, or I shelve it and move on to the next thing. Ideally it works out, cause I guarantee it will be fun, entertaining and buzzworthy.

Here is the link to the add that I've posted in a few places

http://ottawa.kijiji.ca/c-jobs-tv-media-fashion-Comedy-Writers-Improv-Actors-Stand-up-Comedians-W0QQAdIdZ157793679

So that's about it for now, please forward this link to anyone you think might be interested.

Anyways sorry for not Blogging for a long time, but I've been greasing the wheels and trying to get things in motion. I hope to keep you all updated a little more often.

Thanks for reading,

Bob

The end is near!

The end of my stay in LA is fast approaching and I surely do have mixed emotions about it.

It's going to be so good to see my family and friends, and really look forward to spending time with them.  It was great to have one of my sisters come up, my Dad and one of my best friends too.  But getting back to the old stomping grounds is gonna be soo much fun.  I'm really anxious to see my two nieces and my nephew.  I know I've only been gone for 5 months so far but in little people time it's alot.  Luckily I was able to talk to the girls over the phone but the little guy is still a baby, so it'll be great to play with him.  I hear that he doesnt stand still for a second, so then I look forward to him running around like a mad man.  I'll get in town just in time for the Navan fair which is a yearly tradition of boozing with friends.  Can't wait!!! Whether my Dad likes it or not I'll stay with him at the Cottage for a little while until I get set up again, but I have plans on another Comedy based thing that might get me traveling throughout Canada, so we'll see.

On the flip side I am a little bummed out about leaving this place.  I gave up my apartment yesterday and that sucked.  I really liked that place and will look for something similar when I come back.  But it's time to go, I've spent alot of money and will have to go home to replenish the funds.  There is no doubt in my mind that I will back here and hopefully within about 6 months. I'll miss the crazy people, the nice weather, the opportunites and of course Scott and Aneta.  There were soo good to me, I owe them everything, cause I probably would never have come here if they weren't here.

Hey I got to do stand up, work on a rewrite for a script, commercials, learn about the industry and meet a ton of cool people.  Only In LA for sure.  For the most part people really liked me out here and didn't have to much trouble making contacts.  But I am no miracle worker and 5 months is just not enough, not even close.   The good thing is I can take everything I learnt and better what I want to do so when I come back I'll hit the ground running...Ok fine fuck off I can't run, but I'll hit the ground wabbling in a slow pace.  Either way it was soo worth it.

The really good news though is I met a film producer/director who loves my story and is going to finish my documentary.  The documentary was the main reason I came out here, so having him on board is amazing.  He will actually be following me back to Ottawa later this week.  He will be filming everything and then taking care of all production of the film.  He mentioned that he's doing this cause he finds me very interesting, funny and thinks we really have a good shot of making this movie happen.  Actually he assures that it will be made.  Once that happens, who knows.  He did mention that Documentaries  don't make a ton of money but I'll get alot of exposure and have a film based on my life and travels...That's kinda cool, like honestly who wouldnt want to see this on a big screen? Ok fine maybe in Poland or Iran.. So I'll be stopping in cities all the way back to Ottawa performing again.  He's a real Nazi with the cameras though so I'll have to really get used to being filmed non stop...Oh well luckily I'm really good looking and don't have a bad angle!!! So I'm really pumped about that, I think that the movie will be great.  His past movies/tv shows speaks for themselves and I'm lucky to be tied with that now.  

The only problem is the crazy long ride back home, arghh it takes so long.  We hope to get all the filming done within 10 days or so.  I'll probably shut er down in terms of stops in New York, which I think is a cool finish.  I spoke to a Comic friend this morning that lives in NYC and he's in.  I'll then go to Toronto where Paul will fly back to LA and I'll head home.  I have a better chance of surviving the trip home now that I got the AC fixed in the truck yesterday.  It's crazy hot out here, and traveling through the desert would have been a killer.  It's 52degrees there right now...haha WTF is that?

So that's that, I figured I'd let you know what's going on and look forward to sharing certain stories with certain people.  Couldn't possibly spill all the beans though, in fear of being put in a mental institution....Man I don't look forward to mesquitos, flies, hummidity and possibly actually working! But hey I'll do what I gots to do to get back here, well I won't prostitute, well maybe but that depends on what you look like!

Love you all, and see you soon!

Bob

The real life here!

Hey Everyone, 

Have to admit I still love it out here, there really isn't anything like it.  I would live here full time if I could.  Partying, working and living here while consistently visiting my amazing family/friends back home every few months would be a dream. Honestly, who wouldn't right?  But reality sets in and I know that heading home in a few months is happening.  I know my limitations as a Canadian visitor and I am sticking to it.  It's actually amazing the amount of Canadians that live out here. For example we shot a video for a commercial today on Venice beach.  Sure it's a tourist area, but I spoke to as many Canadians as I did Americans.  It won't always be that way, but we are always proud to say where we are from.  Maybe that is why I meet so many of us...Hummm, never looked at it that way.  Standing tall, proud and making sure that everyone knows that we are representing Canada. It's a beautiful thing!

 

The last few weeks has actually been a pretty fun eye opener.  See my goal coming out here was to meet industry people.  The big break has obviously not happened but I can't discount what has.  I've met directors, producers, actors, comedians and a million other people trying to make their mark in this industry. If you are weak, shy or scared then this town could be hell. Life sets in and realizing or even knowing this is key to survival.  We've all heard those stories about "the starving actor" or "the one that tried but failed" or of course the "E! story Bio success".  These are the extremes and most live within these borders.  Certain jobs like Cameramen, lighting/sound guys, Indie directors and script writers are plentiful.  The truth is they are all wanting more.  The tough part is finding the ones that are genuine compared to the ones that would pick the kernels out of the dog shit at a corn roast for gig. 

How do you know? I'm really not sure, If I ran the industry then it would be full of really hot, talentless actresses with fat fetishes, but Noooooo.  We are all trying to get that piece of the pie and choosing true talent is a talent in itself.  Some are naturals, some just work hard and others are lucky.  This might be the only comparison to real life jobs/careers.  The naturals seem to move up for the right reasons, the hard workers are given alot of work and those "right place at the right time" assholes are just there. Is that hot chic at a coffee shop more deserving than the weird looking girl with 8yrs of improv? Again I don't know...

I came out here with the attitude that I can do anything. Challenge me and I will prevail.  It's easy to say but hard to produce.  The naturals can be put in any situation and act like the queen of England at a donkey show if needed.  This is the reason that the same actors are always casts for those difficult roles. It's crazy hard.  I'm not normally camera shy, I like to make jokes...It's kinda the reason I'm here.  But today I shit the bed a bit.  I met a film director with great credentials last week that wanted to work with me. I got a call this morning to star in a commercial shoot.  Previously, I was comfortable with camcorders and dialogue that I wrote but being put on the spot with a professional camera crew was pretty intimidating.  I could have done soo much better.  Don't get me wrong it wasn't the worst but not the best.  He even mentioned to me " hey you froze there".  It was crazy right from the start, all the equipment, the microphones and the cameras.  It was awesome and I get it now.  Luckily he still wants to work with me and we have a few projects lined up already.

As mentioned in the last few weeks I met some great people that want to work with me.  I've never even seen a a real script in my life but have been brought on board to re-write and add comedic twists to one.  I'll tell ya sitting in on a pretty big budget film as a writer is pretty crazy.  I was introduced to the producer and director as a comedy expert?? I actually had the balls to deny that and say that I'm just there to help, cause that is a ridiculous introduction. It went well, and learnt alot about the film industry. I look forward to completing this project...Bigtime! I was asked or I can say even challenged to write my own comedy.  Sure the plot guidelines are extreme but I have been working mercilessly on completing it.  I'm proud to say that it's done in rough form and not too bad.  I actually have 2 other writers helping now to complete it for the final pitch....Ya never know!

It's not hard to get caught up in the bullshit out here, I might have and maybe I wasn't productive as I should or could have been.  But this is all foreign to me, it really is.  Making the best of it and taking it all in is all I got.  That insane work ethic has never been my thing but a little creativity sometimes helps.  My only disapointment is that I havn't lost any weight out here, you figure with all the walking, sweating and lack of food money I would almost perish, but nope.  Full figured as always, but that's just cause it's a good look. I'll be coming home with as many chins and rolls as before...Thank God!!

Was I too detailed in my blog?  I know that my site needs alot of updating with videos, jokes, etc.  Please note that I am working on it and some more Bigbobaloo is one it's way. The truth is I'm lazy cause the whisky is $12 a bottle...I know, awesome.

Thanks for reading...Love ya!

P.S. I learnt 2 new dance moves and they are sweet...

Bob

Funny night in Hollywood!

Firstly it's like 5am and I shouldn't blog, but I have to!

I really only have a few months left out here and I decided to make the best of it.  I actually spent yesterday scheduling my available time the best I can.  Sure I have to filter in sleep, eating, grocery shopping, cleaning my apartment, joke writing, sketch filming, script re-writing and hardcore networking.

The ones that know me, know that eating sleeping, shopping, and anything to do with just living is boring.  I get all that done, but I am always looking for more. I need that personal interaction or I'm done.

I spent the day totally out of my element watching, observing and writing about Beverly Hills.  After $10 for Valet parking, $70 dollars for 4 drinks and one of the best seafood chowders that would rival the crew from the deadliest catch, I was in the groove.  Sure it's easy to laugh at the beautiful people that pop in and out of these stores, yet they are out of reach from the norm of society but still hilarious on it's own.  I actually saw two women, Mid 40's, driving a $400K  pinkish Rolls Phantom stopping traffic cause they needed to stop at Tiffany's...really! 

At least 5 security guards came out, one dude hopped in the car to park it and the other dudes walked them in and closed the shop.  I get the whole throwing money around but this was the craziest cases of pure opulence that I've ever seen.  Even driving a hummer I got stopped on the street and redirected to the next lane.  Beside me was a lime green lp 640 mercielago and behind me was a cl63 benz AMG...All this to say that I mind as well been driving a 1983 chevette..Unreal! Hollywood is cool and hip, beverly hills is bullshit! It's as real as the tooth fairy, but with credit cards instead.

I actually go and hang out in these places to remind me that it's possible, people really live like this, It can happen.  Some of these people are real, Totally real.  I was by myself today and probably talked to 25 random people.  Are they super rich,  just visiting,  or just being nice...I don't know!  But what I can tell you, is that alot of these women have alot more money that me.  I'm now considering being a pool boy. Beverly Hills Bob, Mr. Cool the guy that shocks your Pool......Pool Friend, Mr. Deep End.....Knows the G spot, rub cream when you're hot.  When you husband is gone, I'll fill your pond.....Trim, clean and care for your backyard, I'm Sweaty, heavy and always hard......Not overly sexy in a g-string, call me King Butt,Bigbobaloo da King.....

So after all of that craziness, I end up at my place at around 5pm.  I stopped at the grocery store down the street and picked up some chicken-kabobs...I knew that I was gonna end up at the pool/bbq area and havn't eaten that much all day.  Within about half an hour two girls that I've previously met came out and partied with me. I just finished my dinner but had lots left(I always cook more incase) and they chilled with me.  I don't understand why there isn't more people that hang out in the common BBQ/Pool area.  It's awesome, really cool.  Combined we had 3 bottles of wine and had a blast.  Actually we just made a plan to have a BBQ party for the whole building on June 21st.....I buy the food and cook it, they get the utensils and advertisment.  It's gonna be an epic party.  Hey it's all networking and my building here in Hollywood is full of actors/Models/Comedians/ and all around cool people.  We shut down around 10pm and that is where my night starts.

I'm actually pretty close to the West Hollywood action so after a stumble into my apt I called a cab and one of the funniest nights ever started.   See, the Comedy Store is probably the most popular comedy shrine in the world.  I was lucky to stand on that stage once and there is nothing like it.  So I show up in pretty good shape in the front patio/bar area and am welcomed with a drink from an obvious mind reader(or some chic that remembered me).  The comedy store is known for the party area, cause all the comics hang out there before or after their sets.  It's a great place place to meet people cause everyone is on the same page.  After a few drinks and weird looks from staffers(comedians) we go in for the last few acts.  The place was mostly cleared out cause it was like after 1am but the stage was rocking.  

The last comic was Don Barris who is a great comedian and also the Jimmy Kimmel pre/post Guy...I met him like a twice before but he was hilarious.  He picked on me a little cause I was the Canadian Guy playing right into his act.  Being a Comic you have to respect other comics and anything you can do to play along.  It's really far from Heckling!!  He and the others in his act are very animated, energetic and funny.  I have to admit I helped out a little, cause I wont put him on the spot and feed him material that any comic would eat.  I would expect the same respect from anyone else.

His show ended and the place cleared out, but the drummer from his band/act(awesome dude, hockey fan, but a Habs Jersey) came out and got me and brought me to the back.  I even asked him if everything was cool.  But he was like " Man come party with us"... Well this is the reason that I go to these places, to meet people like this.  So even in my state I agreed.  Everything is shut down, nobody around and I walk in the back door with this dude.  It Starts!!!!! I Honestly got ribbed, attacked, questioned and challenged by the best.  It was crazy, I'm normally the guy kinda in charge of that and found myself on the receiving end.  I'm sure it's exactly how Robert Downey JR felt after his big Coke and Hooker bust.  They asked me everything, but I'm there to play along.....

I mind as well been osama bin laden, holy shit....I get it, I'm the only stranger out of 15 people, all the comics people, the managers, bookers, other comics....I got drilled!  Handled it pretty good, it was like a game of 1000 questions...Luckily I was in good enough shape but it was crazy.  It's like a dream but on the flip side the worst nightmare.  I got challenged to the stage and had to go up, again these are all industry people, on the spot. It went like " Ok Canadian Guy, lets hear ya" Go right now"....Lights come on, and I'm helped to the stage(main stage).  I froze a little, but I still did a little Bobaloo...No way I was gonna be a pure bitch, No way!  I threw a couple of jokes but the plan was really to screw with me up there.  Don came up with me and started his own little thing, but again I was all over it.  I actually said to the all the people there" Ok I'm down with whatever you guys want to talk about" Knowing that no joke could be delivered properly in front of these guys.  I knew for sure a couple of them were really trying to Fuck with me, but in all fairness I would challenge anybody to that spot.  Again, the regular full comics, Managers, Comedy store staff, and other industy people are all going " go ahead man, do your shit"... 

I would have loved to be as crazy as I could but I honestly found myself a little scared.  This really was pretty fucked, I drank too much, wasn't prepared but loved every second.  After a few minutes of things I can't even blog about(dirty shit), I got off the stage and partied for a bit more.  We all needed to leave cause it was like past 3am.  So we Hung around for a bit and everyone was cool.  

I have to admit I was not prepared for all of that, but now I will be. I was lucky enough that they all found me interesting enough to attack me on questions, put me on stage randomly and treat me like I deserve.  You gotta understand, these people are all players in the game, they are full time comics, or well known actors that worked their asses off to get there.  I can't expect them to be easy on me.  I deserve what I got, however they will never forget me.  I love that idea, it's the reason why I'm living here.

The next few months will really be tough.  I have been wild, but not as wild as I can be.  Hopefully I am challenged more, so that the ol noggin is worked.  Some things can never be duplicated as in friends met, improv classes at second city and blowing the minds of High end Comics every time I meet one.  Things will work out, maybe not this time around, but I will be back.  It really is the only place to be.

P.S.  Oh and there are no bugs here..Like None.

Bob

Something a little different!

Hey Everyone!

My Dad and myself were sitting outside by the pool a few weeks ago and we met a guy out there that was going through his lines for an upcoming film.  So we talked to him and I offered to help/intern if he needs it.  So it ends up that he's a pretty big tv/movie star with over a 100 credits and is also CEO of a film company. 

So we hooked up this weekend and I started working with him and another writer to massage a script for a $30 million dollar movie.  So for the last few days we've been going through it and my job is to add any comedic twist that I can.  The movie is the furthest thing to a comedy however it's still great experience and if I can add my touch to it, then I would be getting a writing credit for it.  Pretty exciting stuff!

I offered to help because I want to learn as much about the industry as I can.  And I have actually learnt quit a bit.  Things like Tax credits, or filming in areas, raising the funds to actually get to filming, product placements, etc.  All great stuff to learn.  We'll also be working on auditioning because he is still an actor an I need to know how to do this.

This is just part time so it leaves me with plenty of time for my own comedy.  I have been doing alot of writing lately and I am ready for throwing out a new act.  Maybe this week I'll get out there and give it a test drive.  

So either way keeping busy and loving life.   I really miss everyone back home but man it's soo nice out here.  I have not seen it rain since I've been down here(1.5 months).  That's just craziness! I wish I could take my family and the Camp and move it down here...Oh and fuck it I'd take Navan and all it's fun people too. Come on people, no mesquitos or flies at all!!! yep yep

Humm what else is new...Oh here is a pic of me sitting in a prius???..hah

a I didnt think I'd fit, but voila I do! I got some pretty weird looks sitting in it.  Man you can't even hear it, just push a button and go...I'll stick to the hummer tho! I just had to take the pick and prove to everyone that obesity is not as negative as you think. Look how good I look!!

Oh Yeah and I survived the first earthquake on sunday, ok fine I didnt have to really survive much, actually didn't even feel it.  Damn the world, I've been wearing this life jacket and hard hat for the last two months getting ready for earthquakes and it totally passes me by.  I might just take this shit off, I'm never going to be able to save all the women and children at this rate. My cousin and Aneta felt it cause they were BBQ'ing in my pool area, but I had to run up and sign a NDC for the script work...arghhh. Just want to be a hero....That's it, but noooooo!

I got a few emails today from Casting companies so I'll get together with them and see if they can use a beauty like me in anything. It's really not that easy finding work for Bleu Nuis out here.  Oh well, mainstream porn have to work!

Cheers,

Bob

Something a little different!