Adding Jobless to my recent resume!

What's up party people!! New Years eve Day and I couldn't any happier!

Knowing that tonight is New Years and hours of debachery is ahead I have to be giddy. Giddy like a 16yr old Knowing that I'm gonna get laid for the first time. But tonight Whisky is on the agenda and chances are so is getting naked and making an ass of myself somewhere. It's kinda what I do!!!

But this is not the real reason that I'm this happy. I am official unemployed. I have always worked and now I'm taking a few months to work on material and get ready for LA in march. I gave my employer the required 2 weeks and it ended oh about an hour ago. Well it's supposed to be for a few more hours, but I'm outty regardless.

Wow what a weird feeling, first house sold and now this. So Jobless and Homeless, it's every very exciting. I'm about 40% closer to getting on Jerry Springer. I'm thinking of picking up some Mouth wash to drink and maybe getting a neck tattoo. How does one smoke crack? I'm kinda screwed I don't think they make carboard boxes my size. What am I gonna sleep in?

I probably should have stayed a little longer but man I just couldn't handle it anymore. It's really easy getting unmotivated knowing that I'm leaving. And I just couldn't deal with the incompentence anymore. So fuck it I'm free, like a dog that can legally hump anybody's leg and get away with it. Fucking free!

So I'm smiling from ear to ear, midgets playing piano, unicorns everywhere, fake big boobies are plentyfull and life is good.

Stay tuned, Good times ahead

Have a great New Year, get hammered and laid!

Bob

Mythical world of Web Design

Websites- There are a gabillion of them and I have ended up with the ugliest one ever!

My website is soo bad that it has actually brought the internet back 5 years. It's the equivalent of Dial up. You think it's painful to view, try updating it daily like I do, now that's pain. I know it sucks, I made it, so suck it! It cost me like $16 bucks, and that's really no bargain.

I'll strongly suggest to anyone wanting their own site, to stop and rethink it. Unless you can afford someone who can actually make you a real one, then fuck it. And what's with the little pink arrow thingies, I tried to get rid of them and can't figure it out, I'm lost and losing my mind.

Why does it have to be so hard to build a decent looking webpage without having any knowledge whatsoever. I tried reading the "websites for Dummies" and I still didn't get it. That was a bad day! I guess I'm over it, ahh not really. There are sites out there that have flash and sound and movies built in...What the fuck? How do you do that? Is there something I'm missing.

Why is everyone's nicer than mine, could the internet world be against me? How shitty would that be, there are websites with some assholes who are fucking horses(or vice versa) and others for pedophiles and others about some dude talking about his sweet new pants and mine has to be the worst. Come on, so unfair!

So instead of trying to make the best, I'm shooting for the worst. It's kinda the way I roll! If I didnt invest all this time and Money(see:$16) it would be soo much easier. My challenge to the world is seeing if you could do crappier than me? I don't think so, If my site gets any crappier than it has the potencial to be removed from cyberspace for good.

If it gets any shittier, than it will be compared to the movie "the ring" but instead of it being a video cassette that kills people, it's a website -you don't die, your eyes just bleed and you are instantly brain dead. It's coming, it's next. So be forwarned!

Honestly It wasn't my goal to have such an ugly representation of myself, but I'm warming up to it. Kind of like an ugly dog or a blind goldfish, they grow on you! Anyway I really hope some Computer dude reads this, feels bad for me and offers to build me one for free. Or better yet some Hot computer chic, yeah much better.

And if not, then enjoy the garbage I have created for you!

Bob

Paper Bagging it!

Ahh I'm sure by the title you are thinking that I'm going green...Nah not even close!

I officially sold my house and I am soon to be Homeless. So you ask" why paper bagging it?" Well isn't that what homeless people do? Drink outta paper bags?

It's actually pretty exciting, I've never really drank out of a bottle straight, let alone a bottle covered in a paper bag. This is a look that I always thought was cool, but could never get into it. It's now time. Any chance possible I will drink from a paper bag until I am sheltered again. There will be some exeptions, like weddings, clubs and maybe my final Christmas work party., but that's about it. It would be pretty awesome to paper bag it at those events too, but then I'd have to explain why I'm doing it and that will really take away from the whole drinking thing!

Ok so I'm not officially dirty, walking around with a shopping cart, but still why are they the only ones that can pull it off. I think it could be a good thing. Less spillage cause the exess leakage will spill onto the bag and get soaked in. Or it can keep the sun away from the booze so it doesnt go skunky and the grip, well the grip is second to none. These are all benefits of the paper bag. I really think the Bum's really have something here. I assume they do it so that the bottle is covered and the police wouldn't know what's in the bag, but come on Really, have you ever seen anybody drink Orange Crush or a Chocolate Milk with a paper bag wrapped around it. Nah it's just not the same as a Bottle of Jack or a 2 litre jug of Beer. These are things that are deserving of the ol mighty bag o' paper.

Could you imagine the uproar in the Green community if Bums used plastic instead of paper?? Ok fine the dirtiness, the hairless 3 legged dog and the going through the whole garbage thing I can handle, but using all those plastic bags, it's intorerable. They would be blacklisted to the subways stations, back alleys and oh wait scratch that/

So all that to say that I am officially naming today December 3rd the official " Drinking out of paper day" I really hope it catches on, it just seems right! I will do my best to drink like this for the next few months, it's very exciting!

I challenge you to do the same...

Bigbobaloo

Obesity "1", Planes "0"

Fatties on a Plane! It should be the new movie, and I think it should be a bunch of fat people on a plane, eating all the peanuts/snack food and then the plane not being able to take off...Ok Bad Story but I still want to star in it. Why you ask? Cause of this... http://www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/news/story.html?id=3925bb55-770e-41ea-825b-b6a23de0e552

We win, I'm gonna rate this day up there with, Christmas, Birthdays and any day that I get Laid. Finally we can sit in comfort on a plane without have the stupid little metal bars on the side punching holes between my 4th and 5th stomach roll, taking the person's valuable space beside me and of course eliminating that whole "Oh my God, please tell me he's not sitting beside me" look that I get when I'm within a mile of any airport.

The Obs, which is short the the Obese have won, finally we officially get treated like the crippled..This really is a benefit for everyone involved, well exept for some CEO shit head who has numbers to meet Sure it's probably gonna cost them, but so does the private Jet that the CEO's fly in..This guy has never sat in the back with the minions. I'd like to take a 5 hour flight with the CEO on one side and the CFO on the other for a 6 hour flight and see what they think then. I'd make sure to stretch as much as possible, just then will they realize that giving us two seats for the price of one is right.

Do you think that it's funny that the whole 2for1 pizza specials indirectly, but somewhat directly sponsored the 2for1 plan seat thing?? Humm.

Either way victory, I will forever salute and give the thumbs to every plane that fly's by!

Cheers

Robin Williams in Ottawa!

Wow, basically sums it up. I've been looking forward to seeing Robin Williams live and it happened last night in Ottawa at the Scotia Bank Place. What a show, what a buzz in the air.

People that say that comedy is dead, would change their minds after his show. From the second he hit the stage he didn't stop, Probably had 3 hours of material and packed it in an hour and half.

Looking around and you can see people actually crying in laughter, I was exhausted after the show, I didnt' want to laugh for the rest of the night cause my stomach and cheeks hurt.

He touched on everything from Canada and it's politics, US issues and their politics, and everything in between. I don't want to give anything away, but I will say that every topic was hilarious. I was laughing so hard, I was sweating as much as him. That's tough cause he get's pretty wet up on stage.

If you get the opportunity to see it, then make it happen. You will not be disapointed, he's a riot

Thanks Robin, your proved that you are the best!

Bob

How much wood can Bobaloo chop, if Bobaloo could chop wood?

Sore back!

Holy shit, my back is killing me! I guess it's no surprise cause I'm huge and getting old, but wow this is pain. Ever since pulling my back eating a sub a while ago, my back has been acting up.

We spent the weekend, chain sawing wood, then splitting wood then pilling wood. I now officially hate wood, Sure I guess trees are good, like for air and all that, but damn hassle for a heat source. We needed to get prepared for the extremely cold winter ahead, and having enough piled was on the weekend agenda. I need a wheel chair I think! That is soo much fucking work, I have done this process alot throughout my life as a Hick, but I think this is my last horah in the wonderful world of wood chopping.

Even though I drank as much whiskey as physically possible and sat in the Hot tub til I was more shriveled than John McCain, I still can barely walk. Luckily we had good weather, as It Rained on saturday and snowed on Sunday..Perfect! That helped for sure, there's nothing like freezing slate wacking me on the side of the head, while trying just to stay breathing carrying a 200 pound log. Damn the world

Luckily some of my friends came out and helped My Father and I with this duty. Most of them gave up after awhile, and I can't really blame them. Chopping wood has the appeal of trying to shave my back with a plastic butter knife, just miserable.

I had to think, what about these people that do this for a living. They must be saints, I don't get it, how can someone really do this every day! I'd be crippled instantly, wouldnt even get out of bed in the morning if this is what I had to look up to. Don't get me wrong I am not putting these people who do this down, I'm praising their work. They must be all Ninja's

Now that the weekend is over, and over 10 cords of wood is split and piled we are pretty happy that we got it done. I am a drool away from a mouth activated wheel chair mind you, but happy nonetheless. I guess the old timers did this alot, cause My 60yr father killed me in the wood dept, and made us look like little girls out there, so good for him, I havn't talked to him today, maybe I'll call to see if he's still alive! He can't feel Good....

Either way next time I have the option of splitting wood or anything else, I will always pick the anything else. Beats Freezing I guess, but barely!

Test

Just testing this out..I am soo not a Computer Guy, mind you I do enjoy the sitting down aspect!