Adding Jobless to my recent resume!

What's up party people!! New Years eve Day and I couldn't any happier!

Knowing that tonight is New Years and hours of debachery is ahead I have to be giddy. Giddy like a 16yr old Knowing that I'm gonna get laid for the first time. But tonight Whisky is on the agenda and chances are so is getting naked and making an ass of myself somewhere. It's kinda what I do!!!

But this is not the real reason that I'm this happy. I am official unemployed. I have always worked and now I'm taking a few months to work on material and get ready for LA in march. I gave my employer the required 2 weeks and it ended oh about an hour ago. Well it's supposed to be for a few more hours, but I'm outty regardless.

Wow what a weird feeling, first house sold and now this. So Jobless and Homeless, it's every very exciting. I'm about 40% closer to getting on Jerry Springer. I'm thinking of picking up some Mouth wash to drink and maybe getting a neck tattoo. How does one smoke crack? I'm kinda screwed I don't think they make carboard boxes my size. What am I gonna sleep in?

I probably should have stayed a little longer but man I just couldn't handle it anymore. It's really easy getting unmotivated knowing that I'm leaving. And I just couldn't deal with the incompentence anymore. So fuck it I'm free, like a dog that can legally hump anybody's leg and get away with it. Fucking free!

So I'm smiling from ear to ear, midgets playing piano, unicorns everywhere, fake big boobies are plentyfull and life is good.

Stay tuned, Good times ahead

Have a great New Year, get hammered and laid!

Bob

Mythical world of Web Design

Websites- There are a gabillion of them and I have ended up with the ugliest one ever!

My website is soo bad that it has actually brought the internet back 5 years. It's the equivalent of Dial up. You think it's painful to view, try updating it daily like I do, now that's pain. I know it sucks, I made it, so suck it! It cost me like $16 bucks, and that's really no bargain.

I'll strongly suggest to anyone wanting their own site, to stop and rethink it. Unless you can afford someone who can actually make you a real one, then fuck it. And what's with the little pink arrow thingies, I tried to get rid of them and can't figure it out, I'm lost and losing my mind.

Why does it have to be so hard to build a decent looking webpage without having any knowledge whatsoever. I tried reading the "websites for Dummies" and I still didn't get it. That was a bad day! I guess I'm over it, ahh not really. There are sites out there that have flash and sound and movies built in...What the fuck? How do you do that? Is there something I'm missing.

Why is everyone's nicer than mine, could the internet world be against me? How shitty would that be, there are websites with some assholes who are fucking horses(or vice versa) and others for pedophiles and others about some dude talking about his sweet new pants and mine has to be the worst. Come on, so unfair!

So instead of trying to make the best, I'm shooting for the worst. It's kinda the way I roll! If I didnt invest all this time and Money(see:$16) it would be soo much easier. My challenge to the world is seeing if you could do crappier than me? I don't think so, If my site gets any crappier than it has the potencial to be removed from cyberspace for good.

If it gets any shittier, than it will be compared to the movie "the ring" but instead of it being a video cassette that kills people, it's a website -you don't die, your eyes just bleed and you are instantly brain dead. It's coming, it's next. So be forwarned!

Honestly It wasn't my goal to have such an ugly representation of myself, but I'm warming up to it. Kind of like an ugly dog or a blind goldfish, they grow on you! Anyway I really hope some Computer dude reads this, feels bad for me and offers to build me one for free. Or better yet some Hot computer chic, yeah much better.

And if not, then enjoy the garbage I have created for you!

Bob

Paper Bagging it!

Ahh I'm sure by the title you are thinking that I'm going green...Nah not even close!

I officially sold my house and I am soon to be Homeless. So you ask" why paper bagging it?" Well isn't that what homeless people do? Drink outta paper bags?

It's actually pretty exciting, I've never really drank out of a bottle straight, let alone a bottle covered in a paper bag. This is a look that I always thought was cool, but could never get into it. It's now time. Any chance possible I will drink from a paper bag until I am sheltered again. There will be some exeptions, like weddings, clubs and maybe my final Christmas work party., but that's about it. It would be pretty awesome to paper bag it at those events too, but then I'd have to explain why I'm doing it and that will really take away from the whole drinking thing!

Ok so I'm not officially dirty, walking around with a shopping cart, but still why are they the only ones that can pull it off. I think it could be a good thing. Less spillage cause the exess leakage will spill onto the bag and get soaked in. Or it can keep the sun away from the booze so it doesnt go skunky and the grip, well the grip is second to none. These are all benefits of the paper bag. I really think the Bum's really have something here. I assume they do it so that the bottle is covered and the police wouldn't know what's in the bag, but come on Really, have you ever seen anybody drink Orange Crush or a Chocolate Milk with a paper bag wrapped around it. Nah it's just not the same as a Bottle of Jack or a 2 litre jug of Beer. These are things that are deserving of the ol mighty bag o' paper.

Could you imagine the uproar in the Green community if Bums used plastic instead of paper?? Ok fine the dirtiness, the hairless 3 legged dog and the going through the whole garbage thing I can handle, but using all those plastic bags, it's intorerable. They would be blacklisted to the subways stations, back alleys and oh wait scratch that/

So all that to say that I am officially naming today December 3rd the official " Drinking out of paper day" I really hope it catches on, it just seems right! I will do my best to drink like this for the next few months, it's very exciting!

I challenge you to do the same...

Bigbobaloo